On 8/11/11 at 11:11 AM and 11:11 PM

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Heart of Art --- Chapter One

Chapter One

She lifts her hands off of the piano after executing her piece flawlessly.  The applause of the filled auditorium makes my racing heart feel as if it is going to have an attack.  Looking at my hands wondering where my sheet music is I remember that I have to play the sonata for memory.  This dreadful thought almost makes me want to vomit. Hey if I did vomit I wouldn’t have to play in front of all my peers.  Not only do I hate playing the piano, but I hate trying to remember things. 

The Performer takes her curtsy and exits the stage.  I manage to stand up but my knees lock tight making me motionless as if I was frozen or paralyzed. Eventually I move my feet one in front of the other.  Walking up the stairs to the piano bench seems like eternity.  I see my mother smile at me in the corner of my eye with her camera, then my dad’s phone rings causing him to excuse himself from his seat.  There was no need for him to stay anyway since he knew the song front and back from making me practice.  Every time I heard him say, “Katelyn that is not the right note” I wanted to chuck my metronome at his head.  Easy enough my hands remember the first chord sequence of the song and I start playing up the scales.  For a moment I get lost in the music.  The spotlight, which once was shining on the piano, no seems to be shining in my eyes.  My shaking leg causes my foot to fall off the pedal losing the synthesizing rhythm of the music.   I lose my timing with my hands, my eight notes turn into quarter notes, my minors turned into sharps.  I stumble all the way to the end and for my big finish I cannot even remember the last note!  Gracefully I lift my hands off of the keys and walk off the stage back to my seat. 

There is a couple moments of silence then the two or three awkward claps finally encouraged everyone else to join in on commemorating my epic fail.  I looked to the right and left of me at my fellow pianists and watched all the lips for their laughing smiles as they try to frown and mask their inward snickers.  To end the program a boy supposedly in my grade plays this eight minute piece long enough to erase everyone’s memories of the tragic recitation they had heard before, well everyone but my mother. Mother’s never forget.

Getting in the car I sink low into the back seat of my dad’s new porch.  “ice cream anyone?”  My dad says trying to lighten the vibe of disappointment.  “Chris, just drive us home.” The tone in my mom’s voice diminishes any small hope I had of not getting a lecture about the anguishing musical spectacle she had just witnessed.  Rolling my eyes I was just about to pop my bubble gum that I had been chewing, mom turns her head to look at me.  “Katelyn put your seat belt on!” Her face becomes tense with annoyance.  “Do you even care about the money we spend on you!  We pay top dollar for your piano teacher and you can’t manage to practice enough to play in a simple school fundraiser.  Quickly my dad tries to intervene, “Holly, must you do this now. Katelyn did her best.  She got stage fright.  Most kids get it.”

“How would you know, you were answering your business call!  I know there is more in her.  Us McCluskies are driven people.  I am done with this I don’t care act.  Katelyn can and will do better.  She needs to be writing down her practices times every day. Katelyn your practice time isn’t for half and hour it is a full hour. One hour a day will not kill you.  I ignored you at first trying to shorten your practice time but obviously you need more.”

“Meg always acts like she doesn’t care and you never bother her!”

“Meg gets good grades and the highest honors from teachers.  Meg is a strong guarded person.  You don’t know how to control your emotions.  When are you going to try?  Can you try to answer this one question? When are you going to try!?!”

“Holly stop!” My dad swerves off the road and stops the car.

“I can…”

“Holly stop before you say something you regret even more.”

It is quiet the rest of the way home.

I slam the door behind me as I walk in my room.  It is no surprise that my mom knocks on the door a minute later. Wiping the tears from my eyes I open my door.

                “Oh Katelyn why do you like taping magazine photos to your wall it rips the paint off and looks trashy, you will have to pay with your own money to repaint it.”

“Is there something you want mom.”

“Don’t use that tone with me!” She is right I have no control over my emotions because I started to tear up! I turned my face away so she wouldn’t see.

“Oh honey, I’m sorry I came to apologize.  I just see so much potential in you.  I love you so much you know that.  I need to control my emotions more too.  You got your emotions from me.  But you are practicing piano for an hour a day.”

“Oh Mom come on.” I flop on my bead and jam my head into my pillow.

“Katelyn look at me…Katelyn!”

“Uh, yes, sorry.”

“It will help you with your studies. Let’s finish the school year strong!” She kissed me on the forhead. “Goodnight, Mommy loves you.”